Some times in life are called happy times, they come and pass by and leaves a message behind that sad times are on its way. When sad times arrive, most of the time, they are directly proportional to the happy times. Meaning that the longer and the better the happy times were, sad times will have the same density. Then when it is unbearable, then I just want to live a normal, neither good nor bad times, I ignore things surrounding me. The things that usually contribute to the good and bad times, the things that brings the creativity and life to the life. Life gets boring, nothing makes it happy or sad. Emotions sleeps. Life slows. Feelings die. Heart stops. Thinking blurs. And then I dont feel my presence in the world. I am outside looking inside for an oppurtunity to drop the bomb. The effect is there, but the life rolls back and process goes on and on...