My lost goth

Since november, I am no more of a goth anymore. Being goth is like living in dark, thinking in dark and looking in dark. Most of the time isolated from the outside world, and dont like day time. In simple words, its being in a different world that is hard to imagine for a non-goth.
Added: Not speaking much and especially with non-goths, it seems to them as aliens, and especially in nongoth in goth party is an alien, and thats what lead some to be very voilent and so is the music sounds voilent to others, but not to goths lovers of red blood living in the fantasy of red rain fall blood drops. And many wants to be dracula...