Thursday, September 29, 2005

No More Blogging

I donot feel like blogging any more. My thinking about blogging has been changed. I have read many blogs and most of them are about their personal lives. Which is, I think not good for me reading. And not good for them making it public. Because Its like I am staring at their personal life and making an image about how will they be in reall world. I think its making me curious about looking at their personal life. And especially reading opposite genders one, I think I am doing wrong. So it makes me conservative, with some religious thinking. Which is equivalent to extremist. So I am an extremist. Should Nazi's be considered as extremists? Well I can be Hitler.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Shot in the head

“Why is she here?”

“How many times I told her not to come to my house” I was talking to my self, as I saw a car on the drive way coming towards me, while standing in the door, half in half out and was looking out side.

“Ok! Just be calm, I don’t want a drama here”, I was reminding myself, as she stepped out of the car.

Instead of letting my anger flow through her body, I calmly asked, “What are you doing here?” as she was stepping out of the door.

She did not reply anything, maybe she did but I don’t remember.

She went inside the house, I followed her.

As I entered the drawing room, I see blood on the walls, “where did it come from?” I asked my self terrifyingly.

It was like some one was nailed to the wall and then was shot with a shotgun from a close distance, and the 90 degree blood fountains to the wall from the holes made the wallpaper soaked. Even the carpet was soaked in the blood like a sponge. “How am I going to clean this?”, “Did she kill my brother?” These questions were wondering in my mind as she walks around the room. Her face is straight. I can feel the fury from a distance that is blazing inside her through her devilish looking eyes that are stuck on me. I am silent. I don’t want to say anything, as I know it will worse the situation. There was this whole process going on in my mind. I was constantly thinking about the possibilities, what should I say and what should I do, on her every move, not to let her anger out.

I don’t remember what happens after that.

Next moment that I remember, I see her in the car. I am looking at the car from left to right. It is white, but looks pale yellow, it seems like it has been beaten up by the harsh weather. I can see some small dry sticks on it. It looks as if there was a bird nest in the boot. It was a Toyota corolla 86 model.

How much she paid for this car? It’s not a good car. Why did she buy this car?

I see a barrel in between my eyes. She was holding a 32 bore gun pointing straight to my fore head.

It happened so quickly that my mind was still on the car and I was about to ask her why did she buy this car and not realizing the gun that is pointing at me. Maybe my mind was seized.

My life does not flash in front of my eyes. All I can see now is a dark silver-black metal cylindrical shape thing, which is seized in between my eyes. I can’t think any thing. My mind is void.


It was so loud that the sound never stop echoing in my head. I felt the spinning round cone copper bullet crushing my skull and leaving a big hole in it. I was in such a state of shock that my eyes did not even move. I was standing stoned.

“Am I dead?” I ask my self.

“I am not sure.” my half working consciousness tells me.

I move my hand slowly and put my fingers on my forehead, locating the hole in my skull, I look at my fingers.

“There is no blood”, surprisingly, optimistically and terrifyingly I say to myself.

I open my eyes and I am getting late for the lecture.